you know, such is life. we wake up everyday and we decide which side of life we're on. i could be all out for 'life' today and breathe philosophy and drink positivity. the next i could be hating the bed i sleep on so much that i realise maybe i shouldn't be so bitter about things because honestly, only one or two cares.

on one side of the country a girl may be typing her prozac-ed heart out because while emotionless, words still appear on the screen anyway. it's either life, a trend, or lifestyle. people get sad, and people deal with sad people all the time. when i read my f-list, i come across really really low posts flooded with intense emotions and words that i actually have to check thesaurus.com for because the posts are really too damn colorful. that's sad, isn't it? that someone out there is feeling like she'd never want to wake up again. the hollow feelings that us young have- i still honestly think it derives from the disability to control emotions, freedom and well, alcohol. but that's just us, we're young and dumb. we're full of excuses and we're ever ready to seek sympathy. when we don't get it, we think we know the world. oh, the world's cold, the world doesn't care. and most likely one or two will pop up saying, 'i care!'

but i've seen it before. the acquaintances, the friends, and the strangers who're all feeling the same way. from sharing too much, we share none at all because we're cool like that. we don't publicise our feelings for the world to judge, but we're still miserable anyway. i don't understand how journaling gives comfort but i've experienced it time after time so let's just leave it at that.

i'm going in circles, i don't exactly have an idea where this post is going. i guess i'm going to sleep soon. i must admit, i'm not used to not being able to meet spider as and when i wanted to for the past few months due to his post-A levels holidays. now that he's asleep earlier than me, for the first week in my entire existence on this anal earth. by the way, i would like to add that i honestly think, hating the world or hating everyone doesn't make you one bit wiser. it just gives you an opinion and it's really really, freaking awesome that you've got an opinion of your own. but you're not wiser. i'm not wiser too.

i'm judged, and i try not to judge. but i still get judged anyway. so the easier way out would be to just judge. apart from wanting to kill the girl in the room next to mine, i'm feeling pretty, well, judged. judged for all the things i weren't judged for. you can keep your opinions to yourself, but people will still judge you anyway.

i will stop saying that humanity is ugly when i am a major contribution to the aesthetically unpleasantness of it.



and also, you know all the parties that people say they'll throw for their closer-knit friends after their first huge birthday bash? the second parties never happen.

life- i'm going to bed now. my cat chose to sleep on karen's bed instead so i'm going to carry it back to where it belongs. that cute furry thing. it doesn't hate me for who i am except when we give it its shower.

Silly is you in a natural state, and serious is something you have to do until you can get silly again.

Life is a sleazy stranger, who looks vaguely familiar; flirting with a bimbo named disaster at the end of the bar.

i'm sorry but even though time has passed and feelings have grown, i still feel something negative whenever i see her.